everything in moderation
all the boredom is seriously, kiling me and i mean it, in literal sense.
i completely lost track of the day, date and even time! i'm at the moment living a life devoid of purpose - wait a minute, what kind of life is without purpose? yeah, exactly. welcome to my oh-so-boring life. you get the point. i feel like crap and it isn't fun.
i think i'm a workaholic. yes, i think i am. damn it.
i love my work, my job - well, not just the army but the entire idea of work - its never ending schedules, long "things to do" lists, late nights due to work related matters and that stressful environment. gosh, i miss them.
why can't i have a more gradual transition to this seriously-nothing-to-do period. damn. this truly suck. it was just 2 weeks ago, when my life kindda had a different form. 0530: wake up,0545: breakfast at the cookhouse which was like 7262416km away,0615: area cleaning, 0700: prepare for lesson, read notes and get all changed up, 0730: reporting of strength,0745: the start of the first lesson, 1000: canteen break! 1030: the start of the second lesson, 1130: break for lunch,1300: commencement of field training & practical, 1530: preparation for physical training and runs,1630: commencement of runs&pt, 1800: dinner, 1900: wash up, 2100: orders for next day's mission, 2130: preparation of orders, map planning, loading of stores,0015: prepare to sleep, while at the same time complain on how busy and tiring the entire day have been, 0030: officially and finally, sleeping. then, 0530: wake up...and it goes on and on..
now. wake up at god knows what time, 10,9,11,1300,1500??! breakfast? - probably too late and even if i do wake up early, i have to hunt for food and usually which is ironically rarely since i don't wake up early most of the time, there's not much of a choice except for : ellen degenerous, oprah,friends! or the repeat of ugly betty. those are my breakfast. then, for lunch, i have to walk like 540metres to lot1 shoppers mall. and yes, 540m - that's how bored i was, i even calculated the distance from my house to lot1 shoppers mall via google earth! the time is now 3pm? what will i be doing? hmmm, on my couch watching grey's anatomy, from one episode to the other, loosing track of time. and eventually, i will come to dinner. after dinner? more grey's anatomy! watching grey's anatomy was probably the best thing that happens everyday. bored. crap. suck.
that's my current state of life.
nonetheless, i know that in time to come - sometime in the next few years or months, i will begin to miss this so-called life, where there are NO tasks, NO tests/exams to study for, NO deadlines to meet, NO things to do list, and basically NOthing to worry about. Should i be appreciative and simply savour this moment? i dunno. but i think, for what's worth - its definitely a great break, while bearing in mind that always, everything in moderation is certainly the best. and this is definitely not moderation.
the struggle it takes to be human.
